elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
