She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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