Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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