Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
