That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
