i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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