OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dick very happy bro
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize