He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
