Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
