idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
