It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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