I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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