He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
