Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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