As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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