I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
