Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
