Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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