Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize