I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
