update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize