Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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