How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When did angry sex become our thing?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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