When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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