Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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