he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
