i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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