omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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