Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm too high and old for this...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize