I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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