I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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