They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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