i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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