when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
