I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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