this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't