Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.