You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?