Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
