Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
