Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
