He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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