Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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