Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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