maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
