the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
