My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
