I think my vagina is haunted
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize