My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
