I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize