If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
