If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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