A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
