Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
