Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
