I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
