I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize