so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
