you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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