we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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