Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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