Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
