It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize