Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
