I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
